You smell like fish that rolled around in a dumpster. 



It’s getting awfully boring around here. 

 

I guess we have the fast approaching first day of school to thank for that.

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Ah school, lowering spirits of children everywhere.


It’s getting awfully boring around here. 


[opens le door] 

 

Actually, I am.

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Where’s my pizza then?


[opens le door] 

You aren’t the pizza guy.


I miss Paris already. 


" Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible."
Things I’ll teach my children   (via forever-connie)


 

I showered in your ravishing beauty, my dear.

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Is that the line you’re going with? Really?